Alpha Omega
by nytecat
Summary: An imagining about the final chapter in Shepard's story. Vanguard, Ruthless, Paragon and Renegade, Earthborn.
1. Chapter 1

**Alpha Omega**

_Author's Note: This is a short what-if story that looks at the concluding chapter of Shepard's life. It's a what-if story because I personally believe that the probability of Shepard surviving the final battle with the Reapers will be highly unlikely. Since BW has not given an exact age chart for asari, I'm guessing the human-asari age equivalents._

**Chapter 1: Auld Lang Syne**

She stood before the mirror and stared at scars left by the ravages of time. A once-youthful face had withered away, eroded by the years. Lifting a hand, she traced the deep lines around her lips, fingered the crow's feet that accented her violet-blue eyes. She let the hand fall with an irritated sigh.

"Oh, how the mighty have fallen," she said aloud in the empty bedchamber. "Damn, Shepard, you look as old as you feel." A sudden thought occurred to her: Careful, commander, the first sign of senility is talking to yourself. Funny how that thought in her head sounded like Joker.

She discarded that line of thinking with a shake of the head and continued dressing. Her movements were slow and deliberate. A chill had settled in her bones, creating a dull ache around the joints. Over a black turtleneck, she pulled on a long red leather coat with black and white trim. The coat's bottom brushed her ankles as she stepped into it, buttoning up on the side. Her fingers were not as nimble as they used to be and she fumbled the last two, cursing them as she finally closed the coat.

The stiff high raised collar of the coat rubbed against her jaw as she fluffed out her long pale hair with a quick flick of the wrists. She made her way back to the bed to put on her dark military boots. Once done, she leaned against her knees and wondered if she could find the strength to heave herself to her feet. Her heart seemed to be trying to squeeze itself flat in her chest. At least, Shepard thought wryly to herself, I still got all my teeth and svelte figure.

Metal clanged as the bedroom door whoosed open. Without turning her head to look, Shepard knew who it was.

A soft, confident voice spoke from the doorway.

"Have I ever told you how beautiful you look?"

Shepard laughed. "Only every time I get a new wrinkle," she answered with a self-deprecating smile. She levered herself to her feet with a suppressed grunt and turned to face the owner of the voice.

The human walked over to her lover and brushed a light kiss in greeting on the lips. Her lover pressed the kiss and for a long moment, thought was lost in sensation. When they at last parted, Shepard kissed the hand that stroked her cheek.

Liara chuckled softly in response. "Every time I look at you, I see the same Commander who saved me on Therum," the asari said quietly. "Fearless. Determined. Confident. Ready to give everyone and anyone hell."

Catching the asari's hand in hers, Shepard disengaged from the touch. Memories, dusty from the years, rose to the surface of her mind. She looked at Liara and saw that time had not touched the alien. She had barely aged in the last 70 years. Liara looked as ravishing as ever in her custom commando outfit. "I've always wondered what would have happened to you if I didn't come by when I did," Shepard replied to fill in the quiet.

Liara considered the odd question then shrugged. "I would have probably started hallucinating," she answered in all seriousness.

The sudden image of the calm asari frantic and delusional was almost comical. Shepard swallowed her laughter. "Is that so?" she murmured with a quirk of the eyebrow. She tried but failed to keep the amusement from her voice.

Her bondmate glanced askance at Shepard, her brows drawing together in mild irritation. Liara knew the human's body language well enough to recognize that she was being mocked. Even after all these years, Liara, you still manage to put your foot in your mouth? the asari thought angrily to herself. However, in moments the anger shifted its focus to her human companion. Trust Shepard to unearth humour in the weirdest things, she growled silently.

"Come. Breakfast is ready."

Liara immediately regretted the sharpness in her voice and offered a small smile of apology. She need not have bothered. Shepard was grinning widely in amusement. With a growl, the affronted asari stalked out of the room. Still grinning, Shepard dutifully followed Liara out of the bedroom and down the stairs to the kitchen.

Seated on a stool in front of the dining counter was their progeny.

The young asari glanced up quickly as they entered the kitchen. Large violet-blue eyes noted the terse mood between her parents. She flicked a considering look at Shepard, shook her head disapprovingly and returned to her attention back to the datapad laid out next to her bowl.

"Morning, mother. Morning, Shepard," Sitara greeted them as she spooned porridge into her mouth.

Shepard slid around the counter and fixed herself a cup of coffee. While she did so, she covertly glanced at her daughter. It always amazed her that at 40 years old, Sitara looked like a skinny 14-year-old with slight puppy fat around a pale blue face with green markings around her eyes, cheeks and sculpted folds. She possessed a single curious black marking over each brow. At least she has my eyes, Shepard thought as she took a drink then grimaced. The coffee had a sour taste to it.

Liara was ladling out porridge from a pot on the stove into two bowls. She carried the bowls and spoons and handed Shepard one. The human put down her coffee mug and took the bowl and utensil with a smile of thanks. Liara glanced at the engrossed Sitara and seemed irked by her daughter's lack of attention.

"Don't read at the table, Sitara," she admonished as she began to eat her breakfast. It had a creamy texture contrasted with the sharp tartness of the fruit.

The young asari looked up, startled, defensive. It was clear that asking her to stop reading was like asking a krogan not to fight. "But, mother, you always said it was important that I keep myself updated on current events," she answered quickly.

Liara put down her bowl and rubbed a brow, trying to soothe away the headache that was starting to flare up. "Yes, I did. But you can read after you have finished your breakfast."

"But -."

"Don't 'but' me, girl, and do as I say."

It was too early in the morning for a spat so Shepard decided to cut in. "Listen to your mother, Sitara," she said quietly in a tone that brooked no argument, forestalling whatever her daughter was about to say.

Surprisingly, the young asari had the gull to lock eyes with her. Shepard wondered where the steel in her backbone came from. It was a contest of wills with only one foregone conclusion. With a blush staining her cheeks, Sitara looked down angrily.

"Fine, fine," her daughter grumbled, pushing the datapad sulkily to the side.

She sullenly speared her breakfast with her spoon, and folded the porridge over and over itself. It was obvious she had no intention of eating or making any semblance of conversation.

Shepard traded exasperated glances with her bondmate. The human resisted the urge to slap the young asari's bowl off the table. Liara had years of experience of recognising the signs when Shepard was brooding on a course of violent action. She forestalled the human by forcing her daughter to interact with them. What was the term that Shepard loved to use? Oh yes, a preemptive strike.

"Sitara, are you all ready for the trip?" Liara asked then.

Her daughter looked up with a frown. She opened her mouth to retort angrily then stopped. Her expression smoothed out suddenly. "I just need to pack a few things," Sitara muttered. Without another word, she hopped off the stool and ran up the stairs.

She was gone in a blink. "Wait, finish your breakfast first!" Liara called after the fleeing asari. The girl did not bother to reply or even look back as she thumped quickly up the stairs. "Sitara!"

"Goddess, seriously, that girl," the older asari seethed as she went to clear away the dishes. She paused in the act to cast a frustrated scowl at her bondmate.

"Don't give me that look," Shepard said with blase as she picked up her cup of coffee again. "She must have gotten her sassiness from you."

Sensing impendent danger, Shepard moved out safely of arm's reach, carrying her coffee cup with her as she moseyed passed the display case of the prothean artifact to look out of the expansive windows that spanned one wall. The city lights of Illium were dark, allowing the eye to be drawn to the crimson and gold streaks across the lightening sky.

"Oh, you can laugh. I have to deal with that impudence for 50 years or more," Liara replied in an exaggerated aggrieved tone as she started washing the bowls and cutlery.

Under the sounds of splashing water, Shepard thought she detected a hint of suppressed emotion to the asari's voice. She tried to discern it but failed. Whatever it was, it sent a chill through her. Shepard shook her head slightly, trying to dispel the sensation. It persisted, prickling the hair on the nape of her neck.

* * *

The airlock hissed as the tripartite door parted open. Her skin tingled with the disinfectants, her nose stung from them. It was a familiar sensation and yet unreal at the same time. Shepard shifted the duffel bag slung over her shoulder and stepped through the airlock, forward and back in time.

Or at least, that was what it felt like.

A beautiful woman with a cold countenance and three turian males were waiting for them. She was dressed in the same attire as Shepard except her black coat was trimmed in white and blue. The men's coats were black with red and white trim. As the family stepped through the airlock, they saluted smartly as one.

"Welcome aboard the Normandy SR-9, Shepard, Dr T'soni and Sitara," the woman said with a warm smile that was reflected in her eyes. After a moment, she let her hand drop. Her compatriots followed suit.

Shepard smiled and extended a hand. "Miranda, it's good to see you," she said in greeting. It was not mere pleasantries. Miranda had saved her life time and time again over the last 70 years.

Miranda accepted the proffered hand. She could not help but feel the fragileness of the older woman's bones. However, her grip was still sure and strong. Shepard held back a grin when she felt the present captain of the Normandy test her strength. Although 70 years had passed since they had first met, Miranda looked like she was in her late 40s. A gift of her genetic engineering.

The captain turned her attention to Liara. "Dr T'soni, your accommodations have been prepared," she continued on. "You and Shepard will be placed in the vacant XO's quarters and your daughter will get to bunk with the crew."

Sitara, who had been looking this way and that in interest, turned her attention back to Miranda. "Really? That would be amazing!" she exclaimed, struggling to keep her enthusiasm under control.

In answer, Miranda beckoned to the men behind her. Two turians stepped forward. "Kronas and Tridan will show you where to stow your gear and where you will be sleeping."

The young asari nodded. She was practically bounding up and down on her toes. "After that, may I see the ship's engines?"

Miranda exchanged amused glances with Liara. When the brunette nodded her acquiescence, the asari youth let out a shout, recovered herself quickly, cheeks heating in embarrassment and trooped off after her escorts.

Shepard watched them go with a bemused look. "Are you sure that I'm her father?" Shepard asked Liara in a mock whisper. "She seems more quarian to me." That got her a bruising punch to arm, causing the human to grunt.

Meanwhile, Miranda politely ignored the byplay. When they were done, the woman indicated the way to the elevator. They passed by the CIC, drawing curious glances from the mixed crew. There were turians, salarians, quarians and humans manning the stations.

"Nice to see some things haven't changed," Shepard commented as a trail of snappy salutes followed in their wake.

They reached the elevator and Shepard pressed the call button. "If it isn't broke, why fix it?" Miranda replied. She had changed much from her pro-humanity attitude when she was a Cerberus cell leader. "After all, you led us to victory time and time again with a multiracial crew."

The car arrived and they took the elevator one floor down to the Crew Quarters. Miranda led them purposefully through the galley and head straight for the XO quarters. She stepped aside to let Shepard and Liara through first.

"How long will it take to reach New Citadel?" the asari asked the captain as Shepard went past the desk to the bedroom and dump the duffel bag unceremoniously on the bed.

Miranda considered. Her brow furrowed as she did lightning calculations. "Taking into account plotting a course through several relays, I estimate around four and a half solar days."

"Plenty of time to get to the Memorial Ceremony then," the asari commented with a thoughtful nod.

Shepard leaned against the doorway, crossing her arms in disapproval. "Damn. Can't you chart a longer route, Miranda?"

The woman smiled in good humour. "I think the Council would take issue with the Hero of the Citadel not showing up."

The Hero of the Citadel scowled. "The Council can - ."

"Kiss my ass. Yes, we know," Miranda interrupted smoothly, trading amused grins with Liara. "However, Councillor Tevos was very clear that I escort you to the Memorial Ceremony in time."

Shepard grinned mockingly as she settled herself on the couch. "So, you're taking orders from the Council now?" she asked the brunette. Liara joined her, reclining gracefully.

Miranda took a seat opposite them. "A wise woman once told me to keep my friends close and my enemies closer."

Liara nodded with a touch of pride. "Smart woman."

"Yes," Miranda agreed, her thoughtful gaze settling on Shepard. She added then almost too softly to hear, "And a bloody icon."

In reply, Shepard rolled her eyes as she poured herself a glass of water from the carafe on the table. She then filled up glasses for Liara and Miranda. With that done, she took a sip of water. Another sip followed then she drained the glass. The filtered air-con had dried her throat. She felt parched and hot.

Putting down the empty glass, she scrubbed a hand across her forehead. Her skin burned to the touch but was dry. "When will we rendezvous with Nemesis?" she asked then.

Miranda was gazing intently at her now over steepled fingers. She was slow in answering.

"Tomorrow morning," Miranda said finally. She seemed to think for a moment, hesitate then opened her mouth to speak. "Shepard, how are – ."

But she never got to finish her question. The intercom on the desk chimed, begging for attention. Miranda got up to answer it.

"Yes, what is it?" she asked with perfunctory politeness. It was clear that her mind was on something else.

"Captain, there is a problem with the asari child," a man replied.

Liara who had been taking a drink put down her glass hurriedly. "What kind of problem?" she demanded. Her expression was harried and read: Goddess, what now?

Miranda arched an eyebrow at the asari. "What kind of problem?" the human asked the unseen speaker.

There was a crash followed by static. Finally, the man answered calmly if a bit strained. "The asari was provoked by a few of our krogan crew." Another crash sounded. "Watch out, the krogan are charging!" the man yelled. "Take cover, she's using biotics!" There was the sound of running feet and the man came back on com. "Captain, we're in the lower decks of engineering. You better get here fast."

"Understood. I'm on my way," Miranda answered, her eyes cold and serious now.

At the same time, Liara stood and headed for the door. "If she's using biotics… I'll handle this. You two can…catch up," she said over her shoulder as she left. She did not wait for them to answer.

Miranda turned to Shepard with a question in her eyes. "You okay with that?"

Shepard rubbed her chin then nodded. "Liara can handle herself. I would be worried about those krogan of yours." She shivered abruptly and rubbed her arms. When did it get so cold in here?

Miranda turned a thoughtful gaze at the door. She looked like she wanted to get up and go after the asari then shook her head. "If they provoked your daughter then they deserve what they get," she said then.

She turned her thoughtful gaze to Shepard and noted the woman's shivering. "How are you feeling?"

"Like 130," Shepard replied with more than a trace of bitterness. "I ache all over. Fever, chills. Hard to breathe sometimes. Dizzy. Heart pounding for no reason."

"How long has this been going on?"

Shepard looked away. "A year. Well a bit over a year," she said quietly.

The brunette studied her friend. Something about the look in Shepard's eyes… Comprehension flared in the brunette's eyes.

"Anything else?"

Shepard looked at Miranda levelly for a moment. A shadow darkened the ex-spectre's eyes. "Coughing," she said then.

"Did you cough up blood?"

"Sometimes."

Miranda slapped the table. "Damn it, Shepard, you should have seen a doctor!" she exclaimed, her tone a vortex of worry and fear. She composed then. "Let's take a look at you in the Med Bay," Miranda said softly. "Come on," she urged when Shepard balked.

* * *

The med bay was quiet except for the hum of diagnostic equipment. Shepard sat across from Miranda, the two looking at each other somberly.

"Shit," Shepard said then.

Miranda turned her gaze to the datapad. She fingered its beveled edge thoughtfully. Right now, she did not want to look at Shepard. "I'm surprised you aren't dead already. Your synthetic implants and organs have deteriorated beyond repair."

Shepard shrugged with a scornful smile. "Too stubborn to die, I guess," she said with false light-heartedness.

It was a struggle but Miranda managed a wan smile in return. "Even if you had sought immediate medical attention a year ago, it would not have done any good… Right now, we could clone you new organs, replace the implants."

Shepard laughed. "New organs in this wrinkled, old shell? What for? Just to forestall the inevitable?" Her laughter died out and the room was quiet. She raised her hand and turned it, noticing how thin it looked; the liver-spotted skin. The hand clenched into a fist and slammed into the desk. "Damn, damn, damn, damn it! 70 years of hell and it all ends like this?"

Miranda glanced away. In her mind, she saw the woman she had resurrected from death 70 years ago: a deadly spectre in black armour with a temper as fast and as deadly as a bullet. "Don't you mean that it ends like this after 70 years of giving the universe hell?"

That made ex-Spectre smile for a moment. The smile faded and she leaned back in her chair, staring at the ceiling.

"How long?" she asked.

Miranda did not need to glance at the datapad's findings to know the answer. "A week, maybe two." She thought for a moment then thought some more. "It will be sudden. Quick," she added.

When Shepard did not answer, Miranda looked up and saw that the woman was staring at something out of the window. She turned to see what had captured her friend's attention. Miranda stared then glanced back at Shepard. "You're not going to tell her, are you?" she said, making more like a statement than a question.

Shepard was still gazing at Liara who had come out of the elevator with her errant child in tow. The two asari began arguing. Even without hearing the argument, Shepard could see that Sitara was being defensive.

Miranda had begun to think that Shepard was not going to answer her question when the woman suddenly spoke.

"She has spent years watching me, waiting for me while I fought battles no one else would do. Never knowing if I would come back. And now, I should tell her, asking her to watch and wait for me to die?"

"Shepard… she has the right to know."

Shepard shook her head once. She turned her gaze back to Miranda. The brunette recognised that look. Anyone who was ever at the wrong end of Shepard's gun recognised that look. "No, she doesn't need to know," Shepard stated firmly. "And you're not going to tell her."

Braver people than Miranda had tangled with Shepard and ended up buried. She was no fool. "Alright, I won't tell her," she replied in a conciliatory tone. At least not verbally, she amended to herself silently.

Perhaps something of that thought reflected on her face. Shepard's eyes narrowed suspiciously. She raised a finger in warning. "And no secret messages emailed to her either," she growled.

The woman did not play fair. "Shepard," she began but Shepard cut her off with a look.

"Miranda," Shepard said, her voice hardened steel. She stopped herself, sighed then looked away. "Please."

Miranda closed her eyes. The sight of Shepard pleading was so unnatural that it was too much for her. She tried to steel her heart but failed. A memory of Shepard helping to rescue Oriana on Illium surfaced. "Yeah, okay, yeah…" she said, struggling to compose herself. In a few moments, she did.

"As you wish, Shepard," she pledged. The look of gratitude that Shepard cast her burned. She stood and the ex-spectre stood with her. "Well, I could use a drink. My father always said that brandy helped bad news go down easily. I have a bottle of Serrice Ice in my quarters. Would you and Liara care to join me?"

Shepard accepted the invitation with a nod. "What's the occasion?" she asked teasingly as they exited the Med Bay and approached Shepard's family.

Miranda was quiet. "How about to auld lang syne?" she asked softly.

The smile on Shepard's lips was bitter and her eyes shadowed. The expression was gone in an eye blink. "Yeah, I'll drink to that."


	2. Chapter 2

**Alpha Omega**

_Author's note: I retconned the description of Sitara to include the eyebrow markings and changed it the crimson ones to green._

**Chapter 2: The back of beyond**

In Shepard's mind, she could see the hordes of Reapers as they descended on Earth. The blue planet's surface blistered black, veins of angry molten lava erupted across the globe. In moments, humanity's homeworld splintered apart and succumbed to a fiery oblivion.

With a start, Shepard came back to the present and realised dazedly where she was. She shook her head to dispel the ancient nightmare and focused her mind on the present, even as fear's claws dug dig into her heart and soul.

"It's over. The Reapers were defeated," she said aloud in the Observation Deck. She stared out at the dark sea of stars. "We drove them back."

The ex-spectre had expected silence so she was surprised when the room answered. "Yes, we did. You did."

Shepard mentally flayed herself for her lack of situational awareness. She had not heard the door open and the tread of familiar footsteps. Without turning around to acknowledge her bondmate, she placed a hand on the cold glass. The chill it gave went straight to her heart. "We paid a heavy price for our freedom."

She could feel Liara come up behind her and embraced her, entwining warm arms around her neck and chest. Shepard leaned back into the woman's embrace for a moment. The tempest in her soul lessened; it was like being in the eye of the storm.

"Did you not tell the Council and the Alliance that in war, there were only two options: defeat or victory?" Liara murmured, her breath tickling Shepard's cheek and ear.

The memory of the stunned and horrified look on the Council's faces made Shepard smile. She removed her hand from the glass plane and curled it around a blue forearm. "Yeah, it was one of my better speeches," she replied modestly.

Liara laughed. The room warmed with the gentleness of it. "When I first met you, I would never have imagined you to be such a persuasive speaker. I was so surprised and mesmerized to discover your words were as deadly as your bullets." The asari slowly released Shepard from her embrace, stepping back.

Wordlessly, Shepard turned, her hands reaching out to grasp the asari's in hers. "One thing the Alliance taught me well was to motivate troops," she drawled ruefully.

The asari held her gaze with her large blue eyes. "Well, you certainly motivated those fools on the Council and the Alliance to take action."

Shepard grinned. "And here I thought that it was the Reapers annihilating planets in the Terminus Systems that did that," she refuted wryly.

"Ah, yes. But you – as you are so fond of saying – put your boot up their butts and propelled them to move."

The human stepped closer and reached up to clasp the asari on her upper arms. Shepard stared at her somberly for a moment, the laughter fading out of her eyes. Looking deeply into those shadowed violet blue eyes, Liara stifled the sudden feeling of unease she had.

"Shepard, is something the matter? You have been acting oddly since we arrived on the Normandy," she asked finally, putting the unease into words.

Shepard lowered her eyes and she gave a pensive shake of her head. "Nothing's the matter. I guess just being back on the Normandy just brought up old memories… old ghosts, old nightmares."

Liara looked at her bondmate and knew with certainty that the woman was lying. The question though was why. She would have to unearth the truth… although she suspected that she might not like what she found. Shepard would never lie to her unless it was something the human did not want her to find out.

The asari reached up and traced the woman's jaw lightly with a finger. "How about if I help you take your mind off those old nightmares?" she asked quietly.

Her lover smiled. It was the first heartfelt smile the asari had seen on the human for a long while. "MmmHmm… and just what do you have planned?" she enquired softly, advancing on the asari.

* * *

The com whined plaintively in the darkness. Liara groaned and rolled out of bed. She pulled off a blanket, wrapped it around herself and walked to the desk at the front of the room to answer the intercom.

"Dr T'soni here. What is it?"

A man responded. It sounded like the same man who had reported their daughter's misbehavior to Miranda earlier. "There's a transmission coming through on an encrypted channel for you and Shepard, ma'am," he said.

Liara frowned in worry. Only a select few individuals knew they were on the Normandy. Behind her, she could hear Shepard stirring on the bed, rousing from sleep. "Let me see the FTL signature," she said then.

The man complied quickly. Liara read the data and sighed in quiet relief, she recognized the sender's source. "We'll take the transmission in the communications room."

There was a hiss and then the man acknowledged the order. Liara turned, stopped and stared. Shepard was leaning against the doorway, a robe belted on, arms crossed. She looked at her ease but there was a strained wariness in her eyes. Despite having being asleep only moments before, the human looked ready for action.

"Who was it?" Shepard asked then.

Liara went to the bedroom to change. "It's from Hagalaz."

Shepard absorbed that information. Wordlessly, she joined Liara in getting dressed. "Doesn't the Shadow Broker know how late it is here?" the human asked rhetorically as she pulled on a pale blue thermal long sleeved shirt over her undergarments.

The asari paused in the act of pulling on her boots. "It must be important," she insisted softly. "At the very least, we should see what the Shadow Broker wants."

In answer, Shepard raised an eyebrow. They finished dressing in silence and made their way to the communications room, which was modeled after the old Normandy SR-2. Shepard tapped in an authorization code, the conference table receded into the deck and the transmission came through.

A life-sized hologram of an asari bloomed into existence. Except for its translucent nature, you could mistake it for a real person. The asari stood tall and straight before them with a calm confident air that belied her obvious young age. She looked like she was on the cusp of womanhood and took off the opportunity to show off her newfound curvy and svelte figure.

The open long red coat, trimmed with white and black, accentuated her long-limbed body. Underneath the coat, she wore tight black pants with a white tank top and the long, black finger-less gloves the asari favoured. Bright, large sapphire eyes burned with intelligence. Her skin was the colour of an azure sky with pale green markings around her eyes, cheeks and sculpted folds.

"Alessia, it is good to see you," Liara greeted with a brief nod. "Is something the matter?"

Alessia frowned, drawing together the same peculiar black markings on her brows that Liara had. The frown smoothed out and she inclined her head respectfully. "Hello, mother, Shepard. I trust both of you are doing well?"

"Well enough. Is there a reason you're calling us so late?" Shepard answered, relaxing her stance and folding her arms. Despite her calm tone, there was a trace of worry in her violet-blue eyes.

Alessia nodded. She tapped a datapad against the heel of a hand. "Shadow Broker's operatives in the Terminus Systems came across clandestine activities of a pro-human terrorist group called Ragnarök," she recited.

"Ragnarök, eh?" Shepard growled.

The name had put a forbidding scowl on Shepard's face which caused Liara to worry. "Is the name significant? What does it mean?" she asked her daughter.

Alessia nodded apprehensively and answered her mother. "I did some researching on the name and it comes from old Earth mythology. A great battle will be fought between the gods, the world submerged in a flood and a time of rejuvenation later," she replied, speaking with the cadence of a scholar.

Despite the growing sense of caution and direness of the situation, the way that Alessia had scrounged up that information made Shepard smile. "You just recited all that from the top of your head?" she asked lightly.

Alessia was about to continue her report, paused. "Yes… why?" she asked finally, eyes narrowing in suspicion.

She was right to be suspicious. Shepard and her mother were smiling slightly. "Well, she certainly takes after you," the human said to Liara.

Liara shook her head slightly. "No, I think she takes after her grandmother. She was like a miniature krogan when she was little," she replied.

Their daughter grimaced. "If you two are through embarrassing me, perhaps we can return to the matter at hand?" she said with stiff courtesy.

Her mother grinned and said aside to Shepard, "I take it back. She doesn't have a sense of humour." The human smirked in reply.

"Mother," the younger asari grounded out. She sighed as she rubbed her brow in an all-too-familiar gesture. "Let's focus, shall we?" Without waiting for an answer, she plowed ahead. "I have had operatives looked into the activities of Ragnarök. It's not good."

Suddenly, the mood of levity dissipated. Shepard leaned against the table and studied the tops of her boots. She sighed and lifted her head slowly, straightening up to stand tall. "Let's hear it."

In reply, the asari lifted up a hand and began to tick off items on her fingers. "Weapon smuggling. Weapon buying. Poisoning alien medical shipments. Bombing in heavily alien populated districts on several trade planets. Illicit experiments – mostly to do with biological and chemical weapons."

She paused, her mouth twisting with distaste.

"I've leaked out information about these activities to the relevant authorities. Black ops cleared out the sites where the terrorist cells operated," Alessia added after a moment, lowering her hand.

"That was some quick thinking. You're doing a good job, Alessia," Liara commented then. There was an unmistakable glimmer of pride in her voice.

It had the opposite reaction than the intended one. The younger asari folded her arms and cocked her head to the side. "Goddess, don't sound so surprised, mother," she muttered with a scowl.

Her daughter's sudden hostile tone startled Liara. "I'm not surprised. I was trying to compliment you, Alessia," she replied defensively.

Alessia seemed like she wanted to say something. From the look on her face, it was not going to be complimentary at all to Liara. However, she hesitated and bowed her head. She heaved a long sigh and when she looked up to face her mother again, all the anger was gone. "I know. Sorry," she said quietly. She paused then added, "I'm just a bit tired."

Her mother accepted the apology with a small nod. "And I'm sorry that we have demanded so much of you, Alessia," she said, concern touching her voice. "It won't be for much longer and you will be able to return back to university."

The younger asari forced a smile and for a moment, she looked like the teenager that she was. "Hey, I am the daughter of the famous human spectre Shepard and Dr T'soni. I should be used to being targeted by the remnants of Reaper agents and other shadowy organisations."

Shepard frowned. Alessia sounded a bit bitter at the end. There was something in her voice that screamed that she was disappointed in herself. Kid, how much pressure are you putting yourself under? Shepard thought silently.

"Don't worry, Alessia, Spectres are hunting down all leads for the assassination threats. They'll find them," the human said. She paused then added, "And then I'll make them pay."

"We'll both make them pay," Liara added. Shepard nodded her agreement.

Shepard turned to her daughter. Underneath the cockiness, there was veiled fear in the asari's eyes. "You only have a few months left," Shepard told Alessia, assuming the voice she used when bellowing out orders on the Normandy. "Just sit tight, soldier," she finished softly.

It worked. The mantle of confidence returned and the young asari visibly pushed down her fear, locking it away. After a few moments, there was an unyielding determination in her eyes.

"Aye aye, ma'am," she saluted with a smile.

Shepard acknowledged the salute with one of her own. "That's my girl," she whispered. Only Liara standing next to Shepard, heard her. The woman lowered her hand and Alessia mimicked the gesture. "We'll see you after the Memorial Ceremony."

Alessia was about to respond when something off-screen caught her eye. She shook her head once, then twice. Then a voice from off-screen spoke and the asari sighed with a nod. "All right, all right," she growled at the unseen person.

The young asari turned back to face her parents. "Shepard, _**he**_ wants to speak to you," she said, snarling the word 'he'.

Shepard could guess who was coming. "Oh boy, here, we go," she murmured to Liara, who was holding back a grin.

Alessia stepped out of the holographic field and was replaced by a hulking, heavily armoured creature. The creature regarded Shepard, blinking his eyes slowly. His nostrils flared as if he was trying to inhale her scent across the void of space.

"Shepard," the creature rumbled then. He nodded his head with slight reverence.

Shepard returned the brief nod. "Grunt. How are you holding up?" the human asked the krogan.

The question seemed to ignite the krogan. However, he kept his temper under control. It must have been Wrex's influence.

"Poorly," he growled. "Shepard, how much longer must I and my Urdnot tribe be on this ship? There is nothing to kill here," he grumbled, large hands clenching and unclenching as if he wished to wring someone's neck.

So, not only do I have to worry about a new terrorist group, I have to placate an angry krogan? Shepard mused. The universe must hate me.

Of course with krogans, you do not back down. It was a sign of weakness. "Blood of my blood," Shepard said out loud. The old title of kinship hooked the krogan's attention. Shepard made a mental note to thank the Urdnot shaman. "You swore to protect my daughter while she acts as the Shadow Broker," she continued on without pause. Then she did pause, deliberately staring into Grunt's eyes.

"So, don't make me come over there and castrate you, krogan," Shepard finished softly.

Verbal threats were like oil on water to the krogan. "I'd like to see you try, Shepard," he chortled. "Finally, there will be some action!"

"Goddess, are you still whining about that?" Alessia yelled, coming into the holographic field again. "You should be more worried about me, krogan or I'll hit you with a singularity!"

Shepard winced and Liara stretched out a pleading hand as if she could reach across the stars and stop the krogan from erupting. For a long moment, Grunt stared down at the asari, his face as blank as stone.

The krogan chuckled. "Heh. She got some quad. Reminds me of you, Shepard," he said then.

Shepard suppressed a sigh as her heart lurched into motion again. "Blood and mayhem always reminds you of me, Grunt," she commented with a wry smile.

The krogan cocked his head. He seemed to be peering deep into the human's soul or perhaps across time. "We had some glorious battles back then, didn't we, battlemaster?" he said then, his tone wistful.

For a moment, the two looked at each other. It seemed volumes were spoken in the silence, a private conversation that the asari were not invited to.

Grunt shook his head then, shuddering as if waking from a dream. "As you command, Shepard. I will keep your progeny safe," he said with a vow. "I'll see this through to the end."

Shepard nodded. "Thank you," she said softly. "Goodbye, Grunt."

Liara regarded her love with a slight frown. There was a nearly indiscernible trace of relief in Shepard's words. She turned that frown to the krogan but there was nothing suspicious in his countenance.

The krogan merely inclined his head again and exited the holographic field. They said their farewells to Alessia before she terminated their transmission. Liara turned her attention to her love and saw the human was staring off into space. She had on her 'thinking' frown.

"Are you thinking about Ragnarök?" Liara asked, interrupting the woman's thoughts.

Shepard seemed to come back from a long journey. It took a moment for her eyes to focus on the present and when she did, Liara was stunned at the coldness in them. The coldness faded after a moment.

She smiled although it was not reflected in her eyes. Although cool, they were far from warm. "I was just thinking so many enemies, so little time," the human replied, her tone dark and bitter.

Suddenly, the human turned and headed for the door. Liara followed her wordlessly back to the elevator and then to their quarters. She kept her peace as she knew the human was dwelling on the new threat that the terrorist cell presented. Shepard took a seat on the couch and stared into the distance. If Liara knew what was going on in the ex spectre's mind, she was calculating scenarios, trying to predict her new enemy's future movements.

Liara took a seat next to the human and surreptitiously evaluated her. Shepard looked tired, weary and frustrated. She also looked older than her years and Liara suspected the hard times and synthetic enhancements that Shepard had gone through had prematurely aged her. The asari reached out and gently touched the human's shoulder.

Shepard stirred and turned her attention on Liara. There was an unspoken question in her eyes and infinite patience.

"Shepard," Liara began slowly. "Do you not find me attractive anymore?" she asked seriously. Fool! Why did she asked about that? Liara moaned in her head. She had wanted to ask about Ragnarok!

The ice in Shepard's eyes melted, warming from the depths as she smiled. "T'soni, you worry about the strangest things," she said, her lips curling into an amused smile.

Well, since she had brought up the issue, she might as well explore it.

"Then why haven't we melded in 15 years?" Liara pressed. She was stunned at how angry and hurt she sounded.

Shepard gathered her in with a hard hug. "You know how I feel about you. That hasn't changed," she answered quietly.

The asari whispered in the human's ear. "You're evading the question, Shepard," she said then, the anger had cooled down to an icy rage. "Why can't you open up to me?" she continued, her hands twisting the coat on Shepard's back. "I just miss the connection we used to have."

"Liara," Shepard began then she stopped. She broke the hug and touched the asari's cheek, silently asking Liara to look at her when the asari averted her gaze. When Liara looked up, Shepard continued in a strange, fragile tone.

"It's been a long 70 years. A messed up 70 years but through it all, in this darkness, there was a light," she said slowly. The hand lowered from the cheek to slide onto the asari's shoulder. "You, Liara. You were my light," Shepard whispered earnestly.

Liara wondered if the human knew how her heart was doing backflips at the moment. She squeezed her eyes shut and leaned her forehead against Shepard's. The asari heard the human draw a steadying breath.

"Since the beginning, you have always been there for me. Believing in me. Trusting me. If I did not have you, I would have nothing," Shepard continued; her voice quiet and confidential. "Without you, I am nothing."

The asari drew back and opened her eyes. She gazed into those violet-blue eyes and saw the flames of anguish that burned in them. "I know that, Shepard. I know how you feel," she said then. "But I want to feel what you feel." She paused then added, "I want you to feel what I feel for you."

Shepard looked away, she bit her lip. Liara had never seen the human in such pain or looked so decisive. It seemed that the human was mentally gathering her courage. A bolt of fear coursed through the asari, she had never seen Shepard looked like that.

Finally, Shepard looked back at her and Liara saw the firm resolution in her love's eyes.

"Li- ," she began but was cut off by the intercom.

"Shepard." It was Miranda.

The asari cursed that woman's infernal timing. If Liara cursed Miranda, she could see the exact opposite emotion in Shepard's eyes. The woman looked relieved like a quarian whose suit had punctured and discovered no infection.

Despite the relieved look in the ex spectre's eyes, Shepard was cool and collected.

"Yes, Miranda?"

"The Nemesis has arrived and is requesting your presence. A shuttle is ready to take you there," the Normandy's captain informed them.

Shepard acknowledged the information and instructed Miranda that they will be leaving shortly. Once Miranda had signed off, Liara faced her lover. She was doggedly determined not to let the matter rest without learning any answers. Shepard was hiding something from her but what?

"Shepard." She made her voice hard and unyielding.

Meanwhile, Shepard stood. She headed for the door, paused. "Liara, we'll talk about this later. I promise," she said and then she was gone.

Liara stared at the empty door, the protest unspoken on her lips. The void that was born 15 years ago grew larger in her heart.

* * *

Miranda was signing off on the preparations for the shuttle when Shepard strolled through her doors. The ex spectre wasted no time in admiring the Captain's Quarters which was modeled after the Normandy SR-2. In the dimness of the room, the blue lighting from aquarium washed Shepard's features in a ghostly light.

"Miranda," the woman said without preamble. "I have a favour to ask of you."

Miranda stared at her friend for a long time.

"I think I know what you want," she said then. "I'll do it."


	3. Chapter 3

**Alpha Omega**

_Author's note: Am really rusty at writing. Sorry about the flow of it._

**Chapter 3: Broken Bonds**

She had been reading The Old Man and The Sea when Shepard darkened the doorway. Sitara slid the book under the covers before the human could see what she had been reading. As quick as she was, the human's eyes still flickered to conspicuous lump. A trace of a smile curved Shepard's lips briefly.

"Sitara, it's time to go." The human sounded weary. When she turned to go, she moved stiffly, more gingerly than would be expected from her aged body. Still, Shepard's voice had authority and Sitara was compelled to obey.

If Alessia was here, she would have been on her feet instantly. But she was not Alessia. Sitara got up and followed her human parent slowly. The human noted her tardiness and her violet-blue eyes flashed but she did not give voice to her anger. How unusual of her.

As soon as Sitara reached her, Shepard strode quickly through the ship like she commanded it. Sitara had to hasten to keep up. It was a credit to Shepard's reputation that crewmen backed away to give her space and saluted. The savior and the scourge of the galaxy paid them no mind as she would an insect beneath her feet.

Sitara stared at her human parent and could not reconcile the knowledge of a ruthless warrior to the woman her mother bonded with. Alessia, now, Alessia had not been afraid when she found out who Shepard was. Her sister had still loved the human after finding out who Shepard was. Sitara, on the other hand, never forgave her.

It was a quiet walk to the elevator. It was quieter still in the elevator. The doors slid shut, sealing them in the same space. Sitara felt trapped but tried not to show it.

"I thought you had thrown it away," Shepard said then. Her arms were crossed lazily in front of her.

The young asari glared at the floor indicators. Why was the elevator ride so long? The silence deepened but it began to chafe at the teenager. She did not like the thought of giving Shepard the satisfaction of having the last word.

"It's a book, an archaeological wonder, it would have been a waste to throw it away," she replied suddenly, flustered.

An eyebrow quirked in amusement. "You were interested in archaeology when you were six?" Shepard asked. Her eyes glinted for once with something other than anger.

When Sitara bristled, the human put a hand on her shoulder in apology. "Thank you," she said then quietly. She paused. "I thought you still hated me." There was a longing in the human's voice.

The young asari knew that she should have said something in reply. Instead, she jerked free from the human's grasp, held her silence and found the polished metal grilles of the floor interesting.

A soft hollow sigh followed by the whisper of the doors opening. The human hesitated before exiting the elevator as if waiting for something. Sitara continued to stare at the floor. Only when the sound of Shepard's boots faded away did the young asari raise her gaze and moved towards the shuttle.

Alessia would have said something, Sitara thought. Alessia would have reassured Shepard that she loved her. But Sitara was not Alessia.

Sitara refused to acknowledge the Butcher of Torfan and the known systems as her parent.

The shuttle was quiet when the young asari took her seat. It was quiet when they cleared the hangar bay and headed towards the black behemoth that was the Nemesis.

The young asari watched Shepard and her mother in the shuttle. The mood between them seemed tensed as if there was a distance between them. She noticed now how pale and weak the human looked. Her mother did not notice, or perhaps she did and anger clouded her perception.

"Have you two been fighting?" Sitara asked then.

"No," Shepard answered quickly.

The two adults exchanged looks.

"At least not yet," Liara amended after a moment.

Shepard stared at her the asari challengingly. She then sighed and looked away. A small smile quirked her lips. Liara sighed as she rubbed her temple tiredly. A gesture anyone familiar with her would know too well.

Sitara caught herself smiling at the gesture. It was a sign that her mother was close to "losing it" as her sister would say. Shepard noticed her smiling but before she could smile in reply, Sitara's smile evaporated. The young asari turned to look out the viewing port so that she could not see the look on Shepard's face.


	4. Chapter 4

**Alpha Omega**

**Chapter 4: The Watchers**

"We are here."

Liara's voice cut through the mind fog. Shepard drifted back to the present and forced herself to move, to get up without wincing. She might have succeeded.

The human led her family out of the shuttle and smiled cordially at the contingent waiting to greet them. Contingent might be the wrong word. The docking bay was filled to the brim with crew and armoured soldiers of aliens and humans.

At Shepard's appearance, they saluted crisply. The sight of all those young men and women was like a knife in the heart. She looked out at all the faces and remembered a Latin phrase.

"Morituri te salutant," Shepard whispered softly. She had left the Alliance long ago but it seemed she still was capable of sending people to their deaths. Nothing had changed much after all it seemed.

Liara, standing at her side, glanced at the human sharply. Her bondmate looked like she wanted to speak but instead turned a frowning gaze at the crew of the Nemesis. Given the asari's thirst for ancient civilizations, she might know the Latin phrase. Whatever her thoughts, she kept them to herself.

A grizzled turian disengaged from the waiting line. Dressed in a senior officer's uniform, he stepped up to Shepard, offering his forearm.

"Quite the welcome, Garrus," Shepard said, clasping the forearm firmly. She knew that the alien preferred the forearm clasp to handshake. Even after all these years since the first contact, turians were still wary of crushing a human's hand.

Garrus chuckled. His reptilian eyes sparkled. "My friend," the turian murmured, "It is good to see you again." He turned his gaze to Liara and Sitara, including them in the sentiment. "It is good to see you all again."

Shepard allowed herself to smile. The turian had not changed at all since she first met him. A little more confident but still a fine soldier and good friend. She glanced at the waiting contingent then back at the turian. The air felt heavy with anticipation.

"Are they expecting me to give a speech?"

Garrus laughed. "Humour them, commander. This is the first time many have seen a legend in the flesh."

Out of the corner of her eye, the ex-Spectre caught Sitara looking away. Her heart tightened when she saw her daughter do that. Shepard looked out at the sea of eager faces. She had called out for peacekeepers and they had answered. She owed them.

The human nodded to Garrus and stepped onto the shuttle so the crew could see her better. It was not much of an improvement but it was better than nothing.

As always, the first few words were the hardest to say. Someone clapped, then another until applause filled the hangar bay.

Shepard raised a hand and silence gradually fell.

"I am sure many of you have heard tales of my exploits," Shepard began. A few people chuckled, a human in the back shouted, "Hell, yeah!" The ex Spectre waited for quiet before continuing on. "Let me assure you that those tales are all a lie."

"The way Earth and the Council would spin it, I was born a hero and I knew my calling was to be the savior of the galaxy. That could not be further from truth," she explained.

"Before I stopped the Reaper invasion, I annihilated batarian colonies and killed hundreds of people. Before I was a Spectre, I was the Butcher of Torfan," Shepard said, her voice turning hard. A cold smile curved her lips. "The Council would like to forget that."

Among the ranks, a few shuffled. This was not the speech they had been expecting. Even Garrus and Liara were intently watching her. Sitara too was looking at her, her blue eyes wide.

Shepard turned her attention back to the crowd. "I never wanted to be a legend and I certainly never wanted to be a hero. All I wanted was to do my job and protect the people I love." She paused. "I did what needed to be done, whatever the cost."

The ex Spectre swept her gaze across the Nemesis crew. "And now, I am asking you to do the same."

"The Watchers are of all races and hold allegiance to none. You are the guardians of the peace, the first and last line of defense. When the galaxy faces its darkest hour, you will be there."

Shepard made eye contact with those in the first row of the crowd. Her voice unconsciously lowered.

"Many seek to join the Watchers but few are chosen. Your standing here proves that you are the best of the best. You have what it takes to triumph against all odds." She paused again and then continued quietly. "Be proud of yourselves and know that I am proud to stand here among you."

She turned her gaze to include the whole crowd.

"I only have one request of you, that you carry the torch when we have fallen," she ended simply.

The contingent hesitantly saluted again, this time solemnly, before they quietly dispersed. Morituri te salutant, Shepard thought again. It was fitting.

Garrus delicately coughed, breaking Shepard free from her dark despair. "Damn, Shepard. You keep putting my speeches to shame," the turian jibed, his mandibles clacking in amusement.

When Shepard did not respond to his humour, the turian continued on. "Ready for the tour?" he asked hurriedly.

At the human's nod, the turian led the way to the elevator. Liara and Sitara courteously kept a step behind.

"Where is the admiral, by the way?" Shepard asked once they were in the elevator.

Garrus tapped a floor and seemed to recover his sense of humour. "Tali's…uh… taking care of a few things," he said.

Shepard quirked an eyebrow at his evasiveness. "Really?"

The turian only smiled in response. "It's a surprise, commander."

Liara, lounging against the side of the cab, laughed. "Jane hates surprises," she replied emphatically.

The human smirked at her bondmate. It was true. Most surprises she had in her life involved her shooting them dead or running for her life.

Then she realized that Liara had used her first name in the presence of company. Something which she never did and rarely in private. It was odd.

Garrus must have mistakenly reasoned Shepard's sudden unease.

"It's a good surprise, I promise you." To which Shepard could only nod. Her eyes were for Liara but the asari was avoiding looking at her. If they were alone, Shepard would ask her what was wrong.

The elevator opened. Shepard pushed her worry to the back of her mind as Garrus led them to the pilot bay. A salarian pilot on duty nodded cordially at them.

A voice suddenly spoke to her left.

"Welcome aboard, Commander."

"Jeff?" the ex Spectre asked in disbelief._ I am going mental_, she thought to herself even as she looked around the cockpit. She saw the glowing gold ball above its console. "An AI?"

The ball glimmered as it responded. "Yes, Commander. I am an AI based on a template of Jeff Moreau's personality."

Shepard could only gape at it.

"Surprise," Garrus murmured in smug satisfaction.


	5. Chapter 5

**Alpha Omega**

**Chapter 5: Legacy**

"It seemed appropriate that the new flagship of the Watchers be piloted by the best pilot there ever was," the quarian explained, a hint of quiet satisfaction in her voice. "The AI chose the name Joker for itself, you know."

Quiet answered her. It filled the captain's quarters, emanating from the human woman who cradled her wine glass as if she was holding the world.

The human moved then, raising the glass to her lips.

"He died saving the universe. He was a hero," Shepard commented as she took a cautious sip of wine. Miranda had warned about the effects of alcohol so soon after surgery. The newly grafted skin on the nape of her neck prickled; the memory of searing laser still fresh.

The commander thought back to the glowing golden ball in the cockpit. A poor replica for a friend, she thought. Still, Tali had meant well and maybe Jeff might have even liked living on as an AI pilot.

"Jeff would have loved the Nemesis. It is a hell of a ship," Shepard said to fill the silence.

Tali drank her wine, it was a quarian spirit. Shepard's was a heady salarian brew. Her friend seemed uneasy but the admiral of the Nemesis had requested to meet Shepard in private while Garrus continued the tour with her family.

"It is the most powerful ship in the galaxy," Tali answered. "Just as you requested when you asked the Quarian and Geth Confederation to build it."

The commander smiled at the memory. "Request is putting it lightly," Shepard murmured.

Tali put aside her glass and leaned back on the couch. She eyed the human across her. It still stunned her how old the commander looked. Shepard caught her scrutiny and met her gaze levelly.

"Well, when you show up above our new homeworld with a private armada behind you, who could say no?" the quarian replied lightly. Although Shepard could not see Tali's expression behind her mask, the human was certain that the alien was smiling.

Shepard smiled. "Yeah, I was short on diplomacy that day."

"When were you ever diplomatic?" Tali retorted hotly. Her voice brimmed with laughter.

Suddenly, the mirth faded from her voice and Tali turned serious. Shepard could see it in her body language. "On a serious note, we owe you, Shepard. We would have made you dark energy weapons if you had asked for them." She pressed a node on the table, activating the holographic display. "Which brings me to why I have asked you here, Shepard. I wanted to show you something."

There was a lilt in Tali's voice that Shepard could not fathom. Beneath her calm tones, the quarian sounded excited. The commander turned to the blue glowing display as Tali hurriedly scrolled through the files, tapping and closing the numerous windows.

"Keelah! Where is that file?" the quarian muttered under her breath. "Wait, wait, there, there it is."

A window unfolded showing a forest clearing. Leaves ruffled in a breeze. Sun glinted off blades of grass and moving among the green were figures dancing. Shepard leaned closer as the video zoomed in. Realization dawned. The figures were quarian children.

"They're playing… without any suits on," Shepard breathed. She wanted to laugh or cry or both but in the end she did neither. She thought back to Torfan, the Bahak System, the Reaper War. Her throat tightened. "At least, I did some good."

Tali had been watching the commander's reaction. Her gaze and voice were gentle. "You did a lot of good, Shepard. You did more good than anyone." She thought then added, "Because of you, Shepard, future generations of quarians will be able to feel the sun on their bare skin. The caress of a breeze. These are precious, priceless gifts. Your legacy, commander."

Shepard tried to nod in acknowledgement but found herself bowing forward until she was curling in on herself. Inside herself, she was breaking. She could not keep herself from breaking. Then suddenly Tali's arms were around her, her voice warm murmurs in her ear. Shepard held onto her friend, tears unshed as the remnants of her soul continued to break into thousands of pieces.


	6. Chapter 6

**Alpha Omega**

**Chapter 6: Old Soldiers. Young Blood**

It was some time before Shepard emerged from Tali's quarters. Any inner struggle she had felt was gone, replaced by calm. The human wandered the ship, marveling at its size and power. When her feet finally grew tired, she found herself in the viewing room, looking at some battered N7 armour in a glass display.

Upon closer inspection, the commander realized it was her old armour in the case. The nicks, scratches, dents and scorched marks. Shepard thought back to the quarian children playing on the quarian homeworld. It had all been worth it.

"Liara gave it to us," a voice said suddenly from behind her.

Shepard turned and regarded her old friend. She had been so lost in thought that she had not heard the doors open or his steady tread. Garrus met her gaze levelly, noting the unsaid question.

He jerked his head at the display case. "I thought the crew needed a symbol," he explained after a moment.

The human did not react. Knowing Shepard, she was pondering how to react that. Garrus recognized that enigmatic look in her lavender eyes. Most often, it ended with some dirtbag ending up dead.

"So, now I'm a museum piece?" Shepard joked.

There was something to her voice that made the turian pause before he answered. His translator chip translated the human language but it could not translate emotion. Garrus had spent so much time in the human's company that he learnt to pick up human body language that embedded encoded meaning into her words.

Something was wrong with his friend, his gut told him. Garrus did not want to believe it.

"More like a war museum piece, but yeah," he replied with a ghost of shrug.

Shepard quirked an eyebrow at his answer. Instead of retaliating to his jibe, she walked to the couch and sat down. She nodded to the place beside her. The turian joined her.

At the human's questioning look, Garrus said, "Liara left the tour early and headed back to the Normandy. Your daughter I left in the cockpit with Joker. She wouldn't leave it."

He saw her absorb that quietly. A flash of emotion crossed her eyes; it made him want to hug her.

"How are your boys doing, Garrus?" she asked after a moment. Her smile this time was slightly forced although the warmth in it was real.

The turian scratched a mandible with a claw. He never did understand the distance between Liara's youngest child and Shepard. 'The worse bad blood was between family', he thought to himself sadly.

Instead of pursuing the matter, he let himself be diverted by Shepard's question. He knew he did the right thing when Shepard relaxed against the sofa.

"Lucias enjoys his work as an aide to the turian councillor. His mate, Auria, is with child now and will be delivering soon. Traian is rising in the ranks in the Spectres," the turian replied. Pride gleamed in his eyes.

"That is wonderful news, Garrus," Shepard said with a small smile.

To the turian's eyes that smile seemed remorseful. He thought about it then asked quietly, "Is something the matter, my friend?"

Shepard shook her head in bemusement. Trust the ex-sniper to note her micro expressions. She sighed and rubbed her eyes.

Keeping the secret of her impending death was tiring her out. She felt weary. It showed in her voice.

"Maybe I am just feeling the weight of my years, old friend."

Garrus regarded his friend for a moment. The fierce Spectre that had saved the universe had grown old. Every battle had left its mark on her body, burnt away a bit of her soul. 'She had saved the universe but who was going to save her?' the turian thought.

"Isn't there a saying on your planet?" Garrus said, breaking the heavy silence, his eyes turning back to the display case. In his mind, he saw again the ferocious soldier that stood in the way of his bullet and stopped him from damning his soul. "Old soldiers never die. They just fade away."

"Fade away, huh?" the woman repeated softly. Her gaze turned on the battered armour. So many battles. So much blood. So many fallen friends. A heavy price for peace. "You know what? That sounds good actually."

Garrus grasped her shoulder, causing her to turn. He knew that his claws were digging into her flesh. If only he could reach her somehow and pull her back from the abyss.

"We did good, Shepard," he insisted, his voice low and vehement.

She squeezed his hand for a moment. Garrus saw the melancholy look leave her eyes.

"But was it enough?" she asked before gently removing his hand from her shoulder.

He held her gaze, trying to reach her. "There will always be wars and unrest. But the battle is not ours any longer," he said.

Her eyes tightened and her left hand clenched on the couch. Shepard thought back to the young faces in the Nemesis crew. Something in her heart loosened. Her eyes softened and her eyes unclenched.

Garrus saw resignation in her eyes, a hollow acceptance. He knew if Shepard could, she would sacrifice herself if it meant that another would not have to die in her place.

"At least, we gave them a future to fight for," he reminded her gently.

Garrus found himself lowering his forehead against hers. He wished that he could absorb her pain. He heard a sharp intake of breath. Shepard was familiar enough with turian culture to know what the gesture symbolized. After a moment, the turian rose to his feet so that he looked down on the human.

Without a word, the turian walked to the door. He paused as it opened. He turned.

"It has been an honour serving with you, Commander," he said, saluting human-style.

Shepard looked like he shot her in the gut. She managed to her own salute.

"The honour is all mine, Garrus," she replied as she lowered her hand.

The turian nodded in farewell.

The doors closed.

When the doors opened again, Shepard was staring out the view port. Without turning her head, she recognized that familiar tread.

"Finished saying your goodbyes?"

Shepard turned at the icy fury in that voice. "What are you talking a- ?"

There was a flash of blue then pain. The slap took her by surprise. She could only stare in confusion as her bondmate lowered her hand.

"I know, Jane," Liara said then, her voice low and emphatic. Her eyes blazed. "I hacked into Miranda's private terminal. I saw the medical records."


	7. Chapter 7

**Alpha Omega**

**Chapter 7: Love and Sacrifice**

"Goddess, why did you keep this from me?" Liara was shaking. From anger, fear or a mixture of the two, she did not know. Her heart was beating so fast, sending tumultuous waves of ice and fire through her veins.

"I am not as strong as you." Shepard's cheek stung from her bondmate's hand. She deserved worse. "I'm sorry."

Those mere words could not encompass how wretched she felt. She wanted to absorb all the pain Liara had to be feeling right now.

Her apology ignited the anger in Liara.

"Saying sorry is not good enough!"

Shepard sighed. Liara looked like she would unleash waves of singularities at her. She looked away from her lover's pain and raked a hand through her hair. "What do you want me to say?" she mumbled.

Her bondmate's answer came without hesitation. Quiet and as soft as rain.

"The truth."

The emotion in her voice pulled at Shepard. She turned to look up at Liara as the asari closed the distance between them and laid her head on the human's shoulder. Her embrace was gentle.

Shepard cradled her, lowering her head to breathe in the asari's natural scent. As always, Liara smelled like ocean spray. It calmed and revitalized her.

"Are you sure?" Shepard asked softly.

In response, she felt Liara smile against her cheek.

"Do you really want this secret to be the last thing between us when you are…gone?" Her crystalline voice fractured on that last word.

Shepard closed her eyes, the memories sweeping her away. A ragged breath and Shepard opened her eyes, stepping back. She took in the sight of her love's skin under the warm lighting, like speckled sea floor.

Liara had a point. 1,000 years was a terrible long time to be alone wondering. The human nodded then, resolute, towards the couch. "Maybe we should sit down."

They were quiet for some time afterwards. Shepard was leaning forward with her elbows on her knees, a pensive frown knotting her brow. She looked at her right hand and clenched it into a fist. She did not notice the tears that started to streak down her cheeks.

Liara watched her love quietly. Whatever secret the human had kept must have been a terrible one that her bondmate had buried it.

When Shepard at last spoke, her voice was hollow. Her eyes were filled with shadows of pain. "Do you remember Kou?"

The asari nodded. "Kaidan Alenko's grandson. He was Ambassador to the Council." He remembered that the young man had Kaidan's gentle manner despite being a power biotic. She frowned. "Does this have something to do with his kidnapping?"

Shepard squeezed her eyes shut. It did not keep the images out. "Through the Spectres, we found out that the remnants of Cerberus were seeking to gain control of the Council. They had kidnapped Kou, brainwashed him with remnants of Reaper technology."

Liara could tell her bondmate was reliving the memories as she spoke. The tears had stopped now but her voice cracked as she continued on with her story.

"Kaidan and I tracked Kou to a Cerberus station in the Terminus Systems. It was supposed to be a rescue mission." She shook her head. "It was supposed to have been a rescue mission." Her voice dried, withered until only the pain remained it. "By the time we reached him, it was too late. Kou was gone. He had become a pawn of Cerberus. Worst than a husk."

Shepard opened her eyes and seemed to notice the tears drying on her cheeks. She scrubbed them away with jerky motions.

"He tried to kill us. I had no choice and I shot him." She sighed, leaning back against the couch. "Afterwards, Kaidan would not leave him. The station was going to blow. Kou had started the self-destruct sequence. I couldn't leave Kaidan there so I decked him and carried him to a shuttle."

Bone deep sorrow etched itself into Shepard's voice. "The official story of Kou's death was that he died heroically while helping us to escape from the rescue mission."

The human stopped her narration but she did not need to have gone on. Liara knew what happened next. It explained the rift that had opened between Kaidan and Shepard She now understood why Kaidan's family told Shepard to stay away from his funeral.

The life seemed to have drained out of her bondmate. She just leaned against the couch limply.

"Oh, Jane," Liara whispered. At the sound of her voice, her bondmate stirred, turning her head to look at her. "I can't even begin to imagine your pain." She reached out and clasped her love's hands. When the human did not respond, Liara slid her hands up to cup the human's face.

Shepard felt numb, dead. "I not only killed Kou that day, Liara. I killed Kaidan as well." The smile she gave her bondmate was sorrow personified. "So now you know why I didn't join with you all this time."

"You have done so many terrible things, sacrificed so much to keep the universe safe," Liara replied softly. "I understand now that you wanted to keep me safe but together we are stronger." She kissed her gently, tasting salt. "Let me share your burden, Jane. You are not alone." Her blue eyes bled black.

Shepard closed her eyes, surrendering to the comfort that Liara offered as every nerve in her body suddenly seemed to burst into a thousand sparks.


End file.
